Looking at all my scars, I cannot help but feel ashamed. Ashamed and completely hideous. Behind every single slightly faded brown stripe, there’s a memory. It hurts to think about it, yet, it won’t leave. It won’t go away. I can stare at these scars for hours and they will never disappear. Although, I’ve come to learn something else. Behind these painful memories, I’ve managed to see the faces of people who have always been there for me. Always. Mommy, Daddy, Amy, Polly, Taylor, Esther & Julia. Stephanie, Jae, Minnie, Hallie, Dedeh, and so on. It continues. The list extends and extends. I mostly see the faces of my family members. The horror in my mother’s terrified eyes when she saw those wounds on my arm. Seeing my father actually cry. Seeing my brothers fear me being alone. I just realized how much pain I put those people through, because of a selfish little action. Taking my own life away only caused pain to others. I imagine. If I actually did leave, how would my parents feel? My mother and father who have sacrificed so much to make me their happy and precious girl. My brothers who rely on my company. My friends who need me to be there for them. How would they feel?
Today, I turn 15. Matter fact, exactly two hours ago, I did. Contemplating my actions and what I have put others through, I promise to be strong even if it hurts. I promise to never attempt to take my own life away because I will have my time, someday. We are all human and therefore we will all die. My time will come, and so will yours. Therefore, I will not chase after it unless it comes for me. I will not slice my wrists, no matter how angry I happen to be at myself. I will not take 6 to 8 sleeping pills because I don’t want to wake up. I promise it to you all. Ill work hard to become a better person for myself and others. A person others can love and look up to. I want to learn how to love myself.
Thank you, sweetheart~
happy birthday angel!
thank you, anon~
IT'S YOURRR BIRTHDAYYY??? HAPPYYY BIRTHDAY LOVE ♥ u should have told me! or i should have known!?! oh well. i hope your had a wonderful fantastic magical day hun! your unnie is proud of youu :3
Ne! It is~ Thank you! We started talking last year when you wished me a happy birthday! Thank you, very much! ^^
i wanna wish you a happy birthday but i also wanna do something super special for you and i won't feel like 'happy birthday' means anything until i do something extra bUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST. I'LL DO ~SOMETHING~ SPECIAL FOR YOU SOON!!! ; - ; 사랑해요♥ 생일 축하해요~~♥♥♥
Princess, you don’t have to go all out. I love you and you make me very happy. That, itself is enough~~ I LOVE YOU TOO OMG AJKSDSF THANK YOUUUUUU. ;“““`; I LOVE YOU TOO PRINCESS AND AJKWSKDJLSDFDGDFH.
WAAAH BEEEEEEEEE~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY! omg I didn't know it was your birthday T-T hahahahahahah i wish you a very happy day :33 lol <3
AHAHAH, THANK YOU~ So cute. ^^
Happy birthday. <3
THANK YOU~ ^^
HAPPY BDAY LOVELY I WISH YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF NAKED JOON COVERED IN CHOCOLATE AND WHISKY
ME TOO OMG AND THANK YOU BABYUHFJKSDFDG
How do I even begin to talk about Bee? It all began when I stumbled upon her tumblr a year ago. I’m not sure how exactly, but after following her for a couple of months, we ended up talking. I admit, I’m not much of an A+, so at first I was worried that my lack of knowledge of MBLAQ would cause some sort of a rift between us conversation-wise. I couldn’t have been any more wrong. Bee is probably one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting on tumblr.
Honestly, you’ve probably experienced more emotions and other stuff than I have all my life. You really do act like you’re my age! (Although it was a bit unnerving when you told me you thought you were older than me… I’ve typically been told that I look older than I actually am -_____-). Even though we do not stay up till the wee hours in the morning talking about stuff, I really do think that you are one of my indispensable friends. We went from tumblr friends to Facebook friends, then I gave you my number haha :D remember the day when we first texted each other and iMessage changed our bubbles to blue?
Beyond your beautiful appearance (shh don’t deny), there are so many things about you that make you Joon’s perfect wife and a great friend. You are so caring and so willing to talk that I cannot help but feel guilty for always telling you about my failures in life hahaha. You are always there for me, and I do hope that I’ve been able to give back 110% because you deserve it. I’m pretty sure our inside jokes wouldn’t make sense to any of the people who would happen to read this, so I’ll just keep those between us hahaha
I seriously cannot stress enough how much of a help you’ve been by giving me advice and how much you’ve changed my otherwise boring life. Before? I wouldn’t dream of texting in class, but now? It isn’t the same without a morning selca in art class! But! This is not a post about how much you’ve changed me. It’s a celebration of your birthday. So here’s to just about one year’s worth of text messages, selcas, awkward moments, sessi times, laughs, sobs, et al. I hope you have the best birthday ever because you deserve it. You really do.
THANK YOUUU~ Same goes to you!
AWAWAWAW THANK YOUUU~~ ^^ For both~ Hahah. ^^
Thank you, bbcakes~ Cutest icon award btw.



